.jpg)
This has been on my mind a lot lately. Offended, offense, offend are becoming words that pop into my mind as I have been dealing with certain things first hand, reading things on the internet, observing the way people behave and hearing stories about individuals. I think my lesson in life right now must be to learn how terrible it is to allow yourself to become offended. Nothing good comes from it. It is a great destroyer of friendships, testimonies, happiness, harmony, unity, kindness... It seems that pride is a big part of it too. Which we all know is not a good thing. As I have been thinking about it a talk by one of the apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints, Elder David A. Bednar, keeps coming to my mind. In a portion of it he says:
When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.
In the grand division of all of God’s creations, there are things to act and things to be acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:13–14). As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation.
It is a choice! We can choose if we want to be offended or not. It is impossible for another person to offend you. I have also observed that when someone is offended they often mistreat the person who they allowed offend them. Which in turn just creates more hurt. It is really one of the worst things out there. In the situations I have been observing and dealing with personally I am seeing that NOTHING absolutely NOTHING good comes from it. It can negatively effect everyone around you too. Plus I think more often then not the offense you are taking was never meant to offend.
I believe we are here on earth to learn and become better. I feel like everything happens for a reason and if we cannot learn from the experiences and trials we are given then they are worthless but if we can grow and choose to do better and to be better from them then they are worth the pain and heartache. And we can choose how hurt we are going to be too and if we are going to take offense. I am also amazed at when times are hard our Heavenly Father never leaves us alone. We always have His comfort and love as well as others he has placed around us to love and care for us.
I am writing this down now as a reminder to me that life is too short to be offended and to vow to never allow myself to take offense because it is simply, a choice.
